Anchor (how to get your laugh back)

Do you ever look at yourself and think, “When did I get so… serious?” Like somewhere along the way, “Adult, Wife, & Mother” became synonymous with “Serious, Stable, & Steady.” This is a must-read for recovering your lost lighthearted spirit - and finding your laugh again.Do you ever look at yourself and think, “When did I get so… serious?”

Sure, I can have a good time and joke around when I want to. But, the often-furrowed brow… The slight but constant weight on my shoulders… Did it start when I graduated college and became An Adult with A Real Job?

Or perhaps when I got married and became A Wife.

Or when I had a baby and became A Mother.

Maybe it’s because my husband is A Dreamer. Surely that Free Spirit requires A Counterweight. And of course our children are… Children. Surely those Bundles of Joyful Abandon require A Stable and Steady Presence.

I’ve asked God many times to help me be more playful & lighthearted. Mostly with my husband, but also with our kids. When I’m with friends or on social media, it’s easier for me to laugh and find humor in life. Why is it so much more difficult with my own family, and particularly my husband?

It’s like somewhere along the way, Adult, Wife, and Mother became synonymous with Counterweight, Stable, & Steady… I think over the years, amid changing cities, homes, jobs, and children, I’ve believed that if I didn’t get serious and “anchor” us, we (I) would be carried away, tossed about on the waves of life…

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Anchor: (noun)
1. something used to hold another thing securely.
2. a person or thing that can be relied on for support, stability, or security; a mainstay.

But, here’s the question the Lord whispered to my heart this morning:

“Who ever told YOU to be the Anchor?”

Um. Okay, I’m listening.

“You’re not made to be an anchor. All this time, you’ve been trying to be an ANCHOR, but what you’ve become is a SINKER.”

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Sinker: (noun)
1. a person or thing that sinks.
2. a weight, as of lead, for sinking a fishing line or net below the surface of the water.

Okay, so, then, is my husband the anchor? Yes he’s a dreamer, but he also has a good, stable job now. Does that make him our anchor? What if he loses his job? What if I don’t think he takes this anchoring business SERIOUSLY enough?

Well, then I’m right back to trying to be an anchor, aren’t I? And living the frustrated, furrowed-brow life of a sinker.


Until I hear the Lord whisper in my heart and I open my eyes to the truth that WE AREN’T THE ANCHORS AT ALL.

Jesus is The Anchor. Jesus. Only JESUS can bear the weight, hold it fast. Only Jesus is strong enough… and He is willing! Oh, He is willing.

…We who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf…
(Hebrews 6:18b-20a)

Jesus is the anchor for my soul and for my family. I am not the anchor. I was never SUPPOSED TO BE the anchor.

Proverbs 31 contains a passage famous for describing “The Wife of Noble Character.” Of all the descriptions given of this woman — she’s resourceful, hard working, a businesswoman, smart, strong, dignified, wise, blessed by her children, & praised by her husband & community — the description that has always unsettled me is:

…she can laugh at the days to come. (Proverbs 31:25b)

This has always stirred something in me. Tell me everything else about her, and right or wrong, I’m like, “I get that. I just need to put my head down and work harder to be that way.”

But I read THIS and it’s like, she has all this going on in her life – husband, kids, work, home… Adult, Wife, Mother… HOW DOES SHE LAUGH!? HOW DOES SHE LAUGH AT THE DAYS TO COME!?

I realize now, I’ve assumed it’s because SHE IS “THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN.” OF COURSE she can laugh at the days to come. SHE is the one who actually got it all right. SHE is the one who actually HAS IT ALL TOGETHER.


I’d be laughing too, dang it.

But today I see I was missing the point all along.

She didn’t get it right by having it all together.

She isn’t laughing easily because she’s a better, more lighthearted anchor than me.

She laughs because she knows she isn’t the anchor at all. Someone much better equipped is at the helm for that. She is free to love and serve and give and receive – AND NOT BE GOD.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)


6 thoughts on “Anchor (how to get your laugh back)

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